Yesterday, I attended a funeral of a friend's mother. She was only 63 when she died. He was very, very close to his mother. Twice last year, he took her to the emergency room. Because he told me about these episodes and their impact on him, I knew how close he was to her. She was his rock, he said.
There was no question that I would attend the funeral. I did it for him. A card would not have been enough. Love is a verb and being there for true friends is an action I wanted to take. Knowing I wanted to be there was an indicator to me that he is a close friend. So, I not only did it for him, I did it for myself (I enjoy the actions that love allows me to make) and for our seven-year friendship.
The funeral was beautiful. When it was his son's turn to speak about his grandmother, the son started to cry. My friend got up out of this front row pew and stood next to his son, put his arm around his son's shoulders and massaged his back as his son cried through his remarks. This show of affection seemed like a natural expression of their closeness and I responded to the love I saw between them with gladness as well as sadness that this kind of affection and emotional closeness is not part of what my family and I have.
This is the same friend who, because he was moved by love, went to each of his children's schools one day and pulled them out of class to hug them and tell them that he loves them.
My friend acts on his understanding that love is not about what is most efficient or what is most practical, it is about acting with boldness and courage because of love. He is teaching his children how to act on love by modeling it for him.
After the funeral, I went up to my friend and hugged him and expressed my love. He told me he had arrived at the church just 15 minutes before the funeral as he was editing a video of his mother to show at the service. He said that when he saw my car parked in a long line of cars near the church, his heart was glad. He called me today and repeated the story and told me he loves me.
I appreciate that.
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My experience, strength and hope being the change I seek in the world.
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5 comments:
Lovely story and well written.
beautiful Kim... thank you sharing my friend.
ILoveYou
You are such a wonderful friend - and a wonderful observer. Thank you for sharing your observations. I feel fortunate to know someone with such a willingness to emote. Hugs to you!
Beautiful.
you make gorgeous vessels with your blogs for your experiences of relationship. I'm in awe. Thank you
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