Parenting Other People's Kids

It was another milestone in our relationship with the kids and their family. This past weekend we got to take them to Saint Louis for a day and a night. It was the first time they have stayed with us in another town.

Once we had secured their parents' blessing, I started my prep.

I mailed them a letter that included a photo of our 4-star hotel right next to the Saint Louis arch, a print-out of activities at the City Museum from the website and I described the leisure pool with its giant slide and whirlpool at the Center of Clayton.  I stated the time we would pick them up and that we would stop by the night before to pack a single suitcase with their essentials.  I had provided them a checklist of items to pack.

Day of trip.  Emily has packed the cooler with hummus, crackers, Greek yogurt, chocolate peanut butter, Le Croix, blood oranges, blueberries, rice cakes, deli ham, provolone cheese, bowls, and silverware. We also have the portable DVD player, DVDs and the two teens have their Walkmans plus Em and my cell phones which include games, cameras, video, Internet.

At first three kids were going then just two and then when we arrive at their house, it's three again, although a different combination than the original. 

We are all packed up now, on the road and just 10 miles from home the car is making a funny sound near the front passenger tire and there is a smell of fluid.  I pull over, inspect, determine this car is not going to Saint Louis.  There are no rental cars to be had but a dear friend-couple lends us their car.  Again we are off and just two hours behind schedule.  And I know that what's most important is not keeping with the schedule but being nimble and flexible.  Check.

On the outskirts of the city, they notice how different the landscape is.  They are impressed by the arch and want to know if people can go inside it.

We pass the arch and head to Clayton for the family-friendly workout facility with the climbing wall and pool with the slide.  By this time we are hungry and we stop at an independent grocery store called Straub's and buy chicken, sushi, mac & cheese, chicken salad, soup and beverages and have a picnic in the car. 


The Center of Clayton's website says they are open until 9pm but when we get there, we learn they are only open until 7pm.  Ok.  We'll come back tomorrow.  We head for downtown and our hotel.  Wouldn't you know it?  There's a hockey game that night and the city is bustling with traffic and people.  It takes a while to park so we split up.  Em goes into the hotel with the two boys and Tia and I look for parking.

It is 8pm now and eight hours since we left home.  I suggest we take an hour nap before we head to the City Museum.  We all lie down, it is quiet, but no one sleeps.  Too excited.  We get up and hike the mile to the Museum amidst a sea of people.  We notice that the sheer number of people on the streets creates a sense of safety.  And we are approached by a few people asking for money along the way. 

The Museum is packed with people and lots of them are teens.  The atmosphere is friendly.  The boys swing on ropes, we all run up and down ramps, climb stairs, slide down slides, crawl through tunnels, and watch the boys join in the fun in the ball pit.

The place is incredible and three hours later, we haven't experienced even half of what it has to offer. It's open until 1am but tired and hungry we leave at 12:30am, eat some pizza down the street and hop a cab home.

The next morning, Em and I leave the sleeping beauties in the room so we can enjoy a Starbucks in the lobby, retrieve food from the cooler in the car, feed ourselves, reflect on the trip and enjoy each others company before rejoining the kids with their food.

We left them a note in the room regarding our whereabouts.   As we rounded the corner on the 12th floor on our way back to the room, we all meet as they we heading down to the lobby.  Tre's idea no doubt.  While we were all napping the day before, Tre asked if he could roam the lobby.  I reviewed some basic ground rules with him, gave him one of the cell phones and said he needed to be back in 10 minutes.  I was relieved when I heard his key in the door nine minutes later and I thanked him for keeping his word.

Now we are at the recreational facility and they loved the pool!  None of them swims very well.  Tort started the morning holding on to each one of us and directing us where to go.  By the end of our visit, he was swimming in the whirlpool by himself, Tre was doing flips and Tiaundra was sliding down the slide.

They ate lunch at the Subway inside the facility. I wanted them to eat what I knew they would enjoy before we headed back to the city to meet a friend for some Ethiopian cuisine.  If they wanted to try the food they could.  By the time my friend had arrived, they were all slumped in their restaurant chairs exhausted.  Only Tia tried the food and chatted with my friend.  One last stop:  gelato at the coffee house across the street.  The sugar made them more perky and they interacted a bit.  We headed back for home at 5pm.

We were all tired and Em and I supported each other in the driving and in the attention we gave the kids and our own needs in order that we would all arrive safely home.

I'd say we did real well at parenting - both them and ourselves.  And what I mean by that is taking care of our emotional and physical needs with a great deal of love and patience and a sense of wonderment.

"Kim, can we come back for a longer time during spring break?" Tre asked. "I love Saint Louis."

Me, too.