Acting Differently Than I Feel

I struggle sometimes with feeling separate from others - either better than or inferior to.

So when the message on my voice mail said that my two blinds were now re-strung and ready for pick-up and the total charge was $110, a feeling of self-righteousness anger and superiority possessed me as I remembered that I had been quoted $80 for the job when I dropped off the blinds. I was ready for a fight.

I caught myself. My rage did not own me though it was fierce. I did not judge it. It was a feeling, not a fact. I did notice that my anger wanted me to march on down to the store, hands clenched around the steering wheel on the drive over, reciting my angry rebuttal in my head and ready to spring it on the first store employee I saw. No one was going to take advantage of me!

Instead, I rested on it for a day. I called my neighbor who works at this store and was there when I brought the blinds in. I got her answering machine. In a patient and hopeful voice, I explained the situation and asked if she would be willing to help me understand the difference in price. This is the same neighbor who offered to bring my blinds home for me when they were finished.

This neighbor called me back today and explained on my voice mail that the end pieces (I forget what they are called) needed to be replaced on both blinds and that's what the extra $30 was for. Immediately I argued with her in my mind. "I should have been called if the price was different than quoted or told in the first place that the ends would need to be replaced. That's almost 40% higher than what I expected to pay. I thought if I paid $80, I'd have blinds that again worked."

I'd had a difficult day today so I really felt like unloading my self-righteous steam on another and here was my opportunity. I spoke of my dilemma (what I felt like doing and what I should do) with God and asked for guidance. I didn't want to win or be mean or nasty nor did I want to be treated unfairly.

"Don't they know that people who are dissatisfied with a store's service complain to at least six other people?" I said to the colleague who was listening to my story. "How stupid can they get? This is bad for their business."

I left my office 10 minutes before five and arrived at the blind store just as the doors were about to be locked. My neighbor had the keys in her hand.

"I just left you a message," she said.

"Thank you," I said. "I received it." I took a breath and said calmly and softly, "I don't feel I was treated fairly."

"Well, Kim," my neighbor said, "we had to do more work than we thought or your blinds wouldn't work." I listened and resisted the urge to interrupt. I looked her in the eye. I felt her discomfort in her tone.

"Would you like to talk to Tim" she asked?

"Yes," I said, assuming he was a supervisor or owner. He was.

I repeated to Tim what I had said to my neighbor and just waited. He retrieved my blinds and showed me what they had done and why. I listened without interruption until he was done speaking. When it was my turn, I told Tim that I was glad they had fixed my blinds so they would now work and agreed that the extra parts and labor were necessary. He saw my point that I should have been told upfront what was needed to make them functional again in addition to the restringing. He regretted the fact that I wasn't told and said they try to teach their front desk people to be more thorough and that it was an ongoing issue.

He paused for awhile. He was thinking. I sensed his consideration of my perspective. He looked down at the receipt on the table.

"What do you think would be fair?" he asked me.

"How about we split the difference," I offered.

He agreed.

He also told me that his company had considered not doing repairs at all. I told him I was glad he did repairs. He said he hoped I would consider them the next time I buy blinds.

I think we both left the interaction with a sense of having gotten to the other side of a tense situation with civility, respect and fairness.

I prefer this outcome. It feels like it has integrity. I don't feel better than or inferior to. And I had to act differently than I originally felt when I first got the news. I am glad I did. I am glad he acted the way he did.

Thank you, God, for your guidance.