"What Do You Two Like About Each Other?"

I often run into Laina at the grocery store near my home. I've known her for four years since her 8th grade year in school. Chatting with her while she rings up my groceries is our way of keeping connected since her graduation two years ago from the Youth Media Workshop where I teach African-American students how to make media.

"How are you doing, Laina?" I exclaim as Emily and I put our brussel sprouts, coleslaw and ground beef on the conveyor belt.

"I'm doing alright," she replies.

"How's your Mom?"

"Good."

"And your brother?"

"I hardly see him."

"What grade is he in?"

"Eighth."

"This is Emily," I say to Laina as I turn my body to face both of them.

"I know," she replies. "Don't you remember last time you were here we spoke Spanish to each other?"

"Oh, yeah, that's right," I recall.

"Did you drive to work?"

"No, my boyfriend drove me."

"Your boyfriend? I didn't know you had a boyfriend."

"We've been going out for seven months now."

"Congratulations! What's his name?"

"Robert."

"And what's one thing you like about Robert?"

"Well, I can tell you one thing I don't like about him," Laina says in a different tone of voice.

Emily and I chuckle.

"He doesn't go to class," she continues.

"That's too bad," I reply. "What's one thing he likes about you?"

"That I go to class!"

The three of us chuckle.

"What do you two like about each other?" Laina asks.

"I like that Emily is a genuinely kind person," I answer.

"I like that she makes me laugh," Emily says.

Laina hands us our bag of groceries and the three of us exchange smiles and good-byes.

As soon as Emily and I are in the parking lot we turn to each other and I say, "Wasn't that great?!"

"Yes!" she replies with a smile.

We are thrilled by the way Laina acknowledged our relationship in the natural flow of our conversation. Coming out and being out are still tricky business for me when it comes to the pre-teens and teenagers I teach. My fear of being misunderstood and then judged negatively by my students or their parents or thinking the parent will remove their child from the program because of my sexual orientation always makes me nervous. So I pause when it comes up and then I tell the truth.

No matter how old I am or how secure and comfortable I am with myself, I am human and I will always appreciate, if not need, attention, acceptance and allowance from others. This is what I always try to give my students. And it was so very heartwarming to receive the same back from Laina.