Lifetimes

I understand the importance of physically being around as a child grows and being mentally present and emotionally available for that child. An aunt can play a special role in a child's life and I am consciously building a nurturing relationship with my two nieces and nephew who live some distance away. When they are older, my hope is that they will initiate contact with me because our bond will feed them in some genuine way.

I spent three days and two nights with my brother, Matt, sister-in-law, Jamie, and my two nieces Gracie (left) and Rylie.

Gracie loves to dance, explore, be read to, take walks, feed the cows grass and play hide-and-seek. She broke from the family routine when she requested that I read her a story when it came time for bed. She said "yes!" the next day when I invited her for a walk with just me. We held hands as we walked. We pet Minnie, the neighbor's jumping poodle mix, who loved our attention and belly rubs and gave us kisses in return.

She's being potty trained and she allowed me to take her to the bathroom while she used the big toilet. I am privileged to be part of this most basic and private part of human socialization.


I got to watch her in the YMCA swimming pool with her Dad while a skillful instructor taught Matt how to help her balance in the water using floaties and not his hands. Matt told me how much it means to him as a father that Gracie looks forward to seeing me. Matt and I have a close relationship and I am hopeful that I can have that with the girls, too.



Rylie is only seven months and has earned the nickname, "Smiley Riley."


Gracie and Matt saw me off at the Amtrak platform. Before the train came, Gracie and I danced with "fast feet" to a song she wanted played over-and-over again at the house whose lyrics include, "Gracie's got a pig on her head." She would repeatedly say, "I want to hear the piggy song."

While I was staying with Matt and the girls, I borrowed their car for a one-on-one visit with my Aunt Mary who lives 35 miles from them. She and I connected for the first time since Grandpa's funeral in 2004. Her kind gestures and gentleness reminded me so much of my Grandma Kranich, her mother. Aunt Mary had taken some of the grandparents' things up from her basement and had them displayed in a spare bedroom -- tools, papers, letters, pictures, an original naturalization paper from the 1800s from my great, great grandfather who came over from Germany at age 42.

Aunt Mary had Grandma's coin purse with the money it contained the day she died. She showed me Grandpa's wallet and the photo it contained of Aunt Mary and Dad from when they were pre-teens. I copied a five-page family history written by one of our relatives on Grandma Kranich's side.

Our visit started with a look at her beloved vegetable and flower garden (my grandparents were gardeners, too). She treated me to lunch at Baker's Square (free pie on Wednesdays) and we caught up. Before leaving, she encouraged me to nap for a few minutes before the drive home (looking at old photos and the stories they conjure up is emotionally draining, she said, and I agreed) and I did while she picked fresh chard from her garden for me to take back to my brother's. (Gracie loved the taste of chard!).

The family part of my trip began with my father picking me up from O'Hare airport after a trip to see a dear friend in New Hampshire. Dad wanted extra time with me before I headed off to Matt and Jamie's. He and I and Toni had an honest talk about what it means to be part of the same family and what one (mostly, me) needs to feel connected to family. We were able to be honest about the differences in our emotional needs. For that I am grateful.

Each visit with different family members was its own lifetime. It's own little world.