I Don't Want You To Be Like Me, I Want You To Be Like You

"I don't want you to be like me. I want you to be like you."

These thoughts popped into my head this morning in fond anticipation of meeting a former student of mine for lunch on Friday.

Today's thoughts were kinder and more generous than last week's thoughts when she told me she is pregnant. My response was to ask her how she felt about it. My unspoken thought at the time was that my dream for her appeared lost, at least for now. That dream would be for her to go to college and to find a job, and perhaps a career, that she loves. That's what I did and she considers me her mentor. Instead, she has transferred back home after a semester of college and is looking for an apartment with her baby's father. She hopes to continue her education in January at our local (fantastic) community college. My fear is that she won't.

My fears, in all gentleness, are my responsibility and not hers. What a lesson to learn.

I am grateful that she has kept in touch with me. It says I am to be trusted.

How does my care for this former student manifest? All I need to do is show up on Friday and be a loving listener and loving presence for her. I can do that now that I have placed my worries in their proper place. I think that's what love is.