A Birthday Full of Grace

Today is my 42nd birthday.

I have done little to orchestrate the day or make it special because it’s my birthday and yet much love has come to me and from me today and I am filled with grace. Such a feeling of grace can happen any day of the year and I have felt what I am feeling on many other days. And yet birthdays do hold special meaning and so I hold some expectations that I should do something special to mark the day.

Many something specials flowed into my life today and I orchestrated none of them. Some of these things happened because of my birthday and some just because.

I received phone calls and emails and even a donut from a co-worker who dropped by my desk to wish me happy birthday. I arrived at the office to find a birthday card on my chair from some of my colleagues. The dependable birthday card from one set of parents arrived earlier in the week which I saved to open later tonight. The other set of parents sent a gift to my brother’s house where I will retrieve it over the thanksgiving holiday (it is nice to have a birthday so close to Thanksgiving).

Today’s experience of my birthday is remarkable to me given the efforts I took to get what I needed on my 40th birthday.

I had some serious needs on my 40th. I was still reeling from a difficult break-up, I was scared of the number 40 and I was afraid of being single at my age. So a month or so before my 40th, I sent special handmade invitations to a dozen friends inviting them to have dinner with me at my favorite Indian restaurant. I specifically requested no gifts and instead asked my friends to bring stories of our friendship to share at dinner. I recorded these stories on audio tape with a cassette recorder. My friends came through. The birthday was great. I felt very supported and loved. I had taken action and responsibility for my needs.

And now it is my 42nd birthday and I am reminded of how far I have come in my ability to love and be loved. I have friendships I did not have before. I have a deep and developing relationship with a loving and kind God who guides me daily. I have deeper relationships at work. I am more honest and authentic with myself and others. I am better at accepting what is. And a few weeks ago God placed in my life a woman with whom I am developing emotional, spiritual and affectionate intimacy.

A friend sent me this quote yesterday. When I checked my email today it was there. I consider it another gift:

"God's will cannot take you where God's grace cannot keep you."

I am full of grace and wish you the same.